The Autumn Retreat

A start of a journey...
It was after the inspiring experience of the Camino de Santiago, walking in a park in Madrid, that Seyi and I first thought about the idea of a residential weekend with like-minded friends to reflect together on how we can add meaning to our lives and act as leaders of change in a topsy-turvy world. We exchanged some dense emails, prepared a few manifestos, incubated the idea during our successive meetings until, about 18 months later, (almost to our surprise:-)) we found ourselves in the company of 5 other incredible individuals to kick off an empowering weekend.

An unprecedented social experiment with (in my concerned mind) all the explosive elements which could turn things in the wrong way:

• Fuzzy and too-broad goals (and, I soon realized, different expectations from each of one of us)
• a varied audience,where most people did not know each other well.. and to make things worse we did not even all live in the same place!
• not only inexperience on the part of the "organizers" (Seyi and I) in managing similar events, but,on the other hand, the intention to have a 100% flat hierarchy
• A slight lack of preparation from a logistics standpoint - and a program without any fancy outdoors expeditions or night balls..
• Some unexpected circumstances (one involuntary and unexpected withdrawal from a key person, one person on crutches, another one on antibiotics / wrapped in a scarf, another one missing the train and having to re-book, another one going through a very busy period..)

I was already figuring the despair of seeing the bleed-over of attendees, all leaving, promising never to come back.. Seyi and I arguing all alone and  ending in tears an 11 years old friendship.

Instead, the stars seemed to be aligned on our side....and the event was a success!

Everyone kept a high level of mental energy and passion for a sustained amount of time. I am truly grateful about this willigness to "commit to the cause", as I believe it was the foundation that made everything else possible.

The group was very balanced and varied in gender, background, causes of interest, styles. A restless guy like me who loves jumping to conclusions, initially labeled this as a problem: aren't we progressing too slowly? Isn't this all too theoretical? Every activity engendered plenty of discussions and we were accumulating massive delays vs our original schedule...As the time passed, however, I came to realize that these differences were leading to much richer interactions, more interesting dynamics and deeper understanding. At this stage, it was thanks to the relationships we were building and the insights into the group processes (rather than from any concrete actions we could agree to), that we were all becoming better leaders of change.

Everyone was a "silent leader" with his/her own particular style. Some magic seemed to happen when "we all got the process right" and each person was contributing at the right time and in their own way to move the collective understanding a little bit further. Despite a few apparent impasses, compromises were thus found and we managed to reach some meaningful conclusions, some actions to bring back home, an understanding of what will come next and (most importantly) a sense of empowerment.

 It was very fascinating for me to see people taking turns in  leading the group past common obstacles. By practicing consensus discussions and observing more experienced people, I personally feel I have a lot more awareness and ideas on how to manage impasses, detours and transitions. If clear rules are put in place with the agreement of all, the job of the facilitator will be limited to making sure that they are respected and the discussion will take care of itself!

I believe that even if we will all take action on a purely personal level, the support of the group will be a crucial element in inspiring each individual to both "do" more and "report  better" so that other people can be inspired. Furthermore, keeping an eye on the long term impact of what we do on "community-building" will help us leaving a trace that will stand the test of time... My key question on the long term is: how can we create an inclusive community that will spread to others (which is an imperative for us) and at the same keep the same depth of connection (which has proven to be so crucial)?

Finally, I'd like to acknowledge the importance of the "spiritual component". Yerina, a yogi and meditation teacher was amongst us and I have the feeling that her exceptional empathy has been crucial in keeping the group together. Discussions were interspersed at the right time with mindfulness exercises and the group was often drawn back to reflect on more fundamental questions. To add even more depth and efficacy to the event, I think we should consider for the next time to also introduce moments for personal recollection, where everyone can reflect and reorder their thoughts.

And the romantics amongst you readers will agree that the natural conclusion for such an  event could be nothing else than a cozy dinner  under the candle-light!

I look forward to see all these little seeds grow! It's going to be exciting to hear about how everyone is progressing with their passions, to work on them together, to read some fun reports and to visualize the actions, and to eventually build a community!

Time to be back in the world, making it real!