A night of delight
This post is a response to the text "the Beast of Cervara" from my travel companion Seyi. I do hope the following text and the supporting photo can bring readers back to reason and expose his* unprecedented *levels of poetic license...
I'm awakening as usual in the midst of the night to relieve my leaky bladder and make a move for the dormitory door...when a white palm appears and intimates me to stop. "There's a wild beast in the kitchen! It's big! Bla bla blaaaaa"...
I struggle to connect the dots in my sleepy head. I didn't sign up for this drama! This was supposed to be a walk in the park..erm.. a walk to the toilet!
"BLA BLA BLA"... my travel mate is wide awake at my bedside and is producing a fully fledged explanation on why we are in immediate and extreme danger.
"Must be a cat" I think. But fear is contagious when you're sleeping facing your inner monsters and I end up peeing in a bottle instead of heading to the outside toilet. "No big deal. It simplifies my life in any case" and voilà I'm back to my dreamy state in a flinch. My sleep is sound and only slightly troubled by my guilty conscience. A minute earlier I took fancy in wickedly exaggerate the size of the potential aggressor in front of my travel companion. "Might be a badger (hahaah). Or a fox (hhaaaha)... a werewolf?". You should've seen Seyi's frightened brow at each one of these progressive suggestions!
Tomorrow we'll just open the door and if the animal is just half as scared as Seyi it will fly out in an instant...
Little did I know that reality is wilder than our wildest dreams...
Morning comes and when I wake up I find my companion still sweating cold, with wide-open eyes, staring at the door and drawing with his hands potential escape routes, or maybe visualizing the blows he's going to inflict to his mortal enemy. "Preparing for the final showdown, mate?" I ask, chuckling profusely.
My mate is still hesitant, not to say frozen, so I decide to take matters into my own hands..and -just to be sure- a broom in my own hands, too. As I walk into the "infested" kitchen, my ears suddenly spring up upon hearing the loud wrecking sound of cutlery and dishes hitting the floor. Then there is some scratching on a glass pane and, before I can focus my sight on the window where all these noises are coming from, the hideous beast has already jumped 10 maybe 20 times up and down over a shut-up window. It is constantly crashing its monstrous head against the bare glass, stuck in a loop. I can do no better than standing back and observe in total awe.
As I move in, the red-eyed fury looks at me for a moment that feels like eternity, ready to spring up on me at my first hesitation. But I keep my cools and do not stop returning its gaze, leveraging on my broad size and scraggy looks (I am in bad need of a shave!). The cowardly creature retrenches into the sink and freezes into position with only the tip of its pointy ears sticking out. Sensing the danger (and laughing at the same time), I cautiously approach. I have to close in and expose myself to get the Devil out of its hole. How I wish I had a long telescopic pole! But -alas-I am wielding no better than a tiny stick so I have to improvise a sort of "poke and jump back" move.
The effects of my action do not fail to produce immediate results: I can now see the hide of the thing jumping ferociously to the window again and again in a blind frenzy. It's stuck in a loop, again.
Only a few well directed shots can manage to pull the cursed animal out of the window frame and onto the kitchen floor. I can see the slow-motion trajectory of the beast free-falling and then hitting the ground. And then...puff..it vanishes into nothing. I'm hearing some creaking noises in the background, so I inspect the whole place but the cat can be seen no more.
A lot of clamor... for a kitten! A lot of cutlery on the floor, a lot of cat pee everywhere, a travel companion at the edge of mental disorders.... Do we need to be cornered to express our full potential? Isn't this life of constant and trivial little choices repressing our feral power to shake the world from the ground up?
Dear kitten, thank you for being wild, impredictable, irresistibly hilarious... Almost as much as my travel companion. I still don't know how he did it but he managed to close you in and put his shins on your escape route! Another masterpiece of awkward Seyi, granting me a night of delight!
