Atomization. There's some common traits between those who only look for a comfortable life and those who are excessively concerned about their own health and well-being. Like many people in spiritual communities. I want to be with "driven" people who wanna do something bigger than themselves, bigger than ourselves as a group, contributing to a higher cause (serving the Transpersonal Will). Even if everyone pursues a different cause or brings forward a different activity, we fit what we do into a coherent whole. So we don't need to do everything together, but to have an overarching common vision and mission.
Decisions: what are decisions? Something that can be changed only for a better reason than the one why it was chosen in the first place! Practice taking (good) decisions and sticking to them! Identify them, celebrate them. Use their power to lead a more intentional life!
The camino gives you what you want. One sock. Maybe next week I'll find another one and get that full second pair that I really need. For some reason I chose socks for fashion rather than for walkability and took only very small socks which barely cover my feet, paving the way to disastrous blisters. I did not think I was gonna walk all day, did I? You are a pilgrim, mate, fuck the fashion, only the miles are real!
Another fashion mistake was to take 2 identical blue shirts. why? One is essentially dead weight.
Another deplorable item is my fluorescent orange enormous banana bag that makes me feel like the perfect target for a robbery, but most importantly makes me feel constantly embarrassed of being totally out of fashion.
The choice of pants was questionable, too. I already know their belt causes me hip irritation, but I keep taking this pants all the time. After a double stage, I had to surrender and change into some sort of pijama shorts for the next day. Combined with the long-sleeved shirt and the hat, I looked like a Minotaur: half Indiana Jones - half a random guy going jogging.
Still perfectioning the art of the sticks, I find them a bit noisy and not too zen. When I catch myself using them on paved roads (where they clank, or sometime blatantly slip), I feel ridiculous and I use them for some self-flogging. My devotion levels skyrocket. Feels good having them handy when some big dogs bark a you, thou. You bark at your own risk, beast! I shake them sticks in the air, in an escalation of power display that is going to end with a beaten dog (in the best case) or with a disabled pilgrim (in the worst).
Lots of fenced areas in the Basque country, denoting a sense of property and private ownership.What a pity! Once I even saw a picnic area (presumably for pilgrims) enclosed into privatized space by a fence. And they were doing what behind that doubled wired fence? Nothing, of course, it was an unkempt meadow.
No benches, no stopping points. it's a very spartan camino. Lots of beatiful monasteries and churches today, though (I can feel the devotion points going up). I was even so moved as to take a couple of pictures!
On the day entering Bilbao, I'm taking it easy. Then doing some zig-zagging in Bilbao, which I would not go as far as calling sightseeing. Like in San Sebastian, as a pilgrim, I did not feel motivated to visit a big town on feet once I got there, and ended up wasting my day. Learning the lesson, I won't be lingering too long in Oviedo tomorrow, but set off to the Camino Primitivo as soon as I arrive!
In Bilbao I look around at people. I'm struck by some businessmen in suites. Talking about investments "my money here, my money there..", looking pretentious, looking posh. How are people like these still socially accepted? How are people driving expensive cars still socially envied and respected?
Am I just fading away? In my midlife, with no status job, no kids, no friends around, no decent skills to shares or stories to tell, no idea of what to fucking do with my life right now? Oh yes, I got something, atomized parents with lots of expectations to take care of...